Review: ALSDEAD - Violent of Reason

Most new bands interest me as much as my stool, so when I heard of how good ALSDEAD could have been I took it with a slice of teriyaki, if you will. All new-age VK bands manage to find a vocalist who can contort their voice in the most repulsive way ever and then combine that with a drum machine on ritalin and a guitarist or three who barely managed to learn what strings are. I became slightly hot over this band after I mustered the necessary sexual stamina to click on one of their songs and listen through. I never did finish though, mostly because I was getting harassed by IM's at all the good parts of the song and I had decided to download the two MP3's and listen to it on the infinitely better iTunes.

So I wonder, with a band that reverses their D's, steals Versailles' flowers and uses broken English to title their first single with Pegasus' eye stolen right out the 4Kids Dub smacked right over the center with the worst depiction of a bleeding eye I have ever seen, should I expect failure the size of my ever-growing ego to abound toward me from this single? As I resist the urge to make an ill-timed corny pun connecting ALSDEAD to ALL IS DEAD, mostly because it's quite obvious how Engrish the wordplay is, I'll click on the A-side which, for all intents and purposes, mimic what my neighbors are doing right now. How kawaii-desu is that?

01. Violent of Reason
02. Kizu

Violent of Reason	Wow, a badass name with a badass track as well. The entire ominous opening was pretty sweet, but it’s broken by drum rolls before the guitars come in and make an even more ominous open before they start crunching on your metaphorical balls. Sure, they sound a little muddy but that’s the only fault there in the production, and it really isn’t all that bad. The entire portion in the middle makes up for it, as the muddy production values actually lead to the heaviness. The vocalist doesn’t sound like he contracted strep throat from seven rounds of deep throating in his trachea, which is a very nice change of pace. The chorus manages to distinguish itself from the verses with a slight directional change but it doesn’t destroy the whole flow of the track. I think I also hear some cheap Malice Mizer ripoff effects going off after the first rendition of the chorus and I don’t mind it too much but I’d rather hear that MIDI in my old Gameboy games when I try to relive my childhood. Starts violently, ends violently, stays consistent throughout, Violent of Reason is pretty damn sick.	9/10
Kizu	It starts out badass but then throws some shit at the fan with what sounds like a compromise between a J-Pop riff and a stereotypical Visual Kei mash. It has quiet verse sections, a loud, upbeat chorus, and demonic arias from the guitars. The chorus is also quite underwhelming because the vocalist doesn’t jump out at you as much as he should, and he sounds very generic. Bluntly put, it’s a perfect B-side that sounds like something any other band could put together but not as shitty because ALSDEAD apparently puts quality into their music. So while everything sounds pretty with subtle hints of some thought put into the generic, it still sounds too much like that faceless song that looms in the back of your mind from some anime you used to watch when you were little to warrant a recommendation.	7/10

Excusing my prior Franglais, Violent of Reason won't cause momentary deafness from the suck that you may have been expecting. ALSDEAD doesn't sample aged semen from the festering penis of the generic VK cooler with this release and attempts to create some original music. How original a VK band can be nowadays has become the newest incarnation of an oxymoron, but at least ALSDEAD makes an attempt. Even though it's a first release, I suppose that it's something to look forward to when most bands that pop up nowadays sound as annoying as cramps and last as long as your monthly flare of herpes. I know they have two more singles out there but I just can't be damned to go listen to them now, even though it should take me all of ten minutes to do. I also have to save something for the next month and I'm not convinced enough to get on my knees and kiss some crusty toes just yet, so we'll leave Violent of Reason with an 80% while I go off to work out my crabbiness.