Another part of me realized that I didn't have as much music in my iTunes worth reviewing as I thought.
- "Doro Darake no Seishun" (泥だらけの青春) - 5:07
- "Juunanasai" (十七歳) - 7:09
- "Kantou Dogeza Kumiai" (関東土下座組合) - 5:03
My collective thoughts on their second release? Is that what you are here for? Well then, look no further than below:
Just to let you know, at the end of this entire album my brain was screaming in pain because it appears there was a mass genocide of brain cells in my cerebellum.
For a change of pace, let's start with the vocalist. Ruki, shut the fuck up and go back to playing the goddamn drums. For fuck's sake you sound ghastly on every single offering here! I can't even call one of these tracks because you...DO something with your voice! Do you even hear yourself when you fucking sing? I tried covering the first song and I just couldn't because my larynx doesn't reach into the lower register of fail. Who told you you could sing?
Some people just aren't meant to sing. Just take a look at the American pop-punk scene, with their whiny, nasally, over the top voices! Now we know where Ruki gets his sonic inspiration from.
Perhaps the best example of this said "singing" I can give you is the second track, Juunanasai. It's supposed to be about the musings of some lonely baby mama getting left by her ever so altruistic boyfriend but it starts out sounding like the boys gathered in the warehouse and the downtown train passed by in the first few seconds of this song. Granted, this has nothing to do with the singing but the either accidental or purposeful sound of a train passing is more pleasing to my ears than Ruki's voice. When there has to be three Ruki's going on at any one time in the background in order for him to get close to "on pitch", we have a huge problem. What is even worse is when he tries that distortion at 4:00, he sounds like a girl trying to orgasm and having the track sound like it's stuck prolongs my punishment. The atrocious falsetto at 2:54 and the fucktarded mumbling at around 5:30 are other things Ruki tries to do to alleviate the constant barrage of one-sided suck but when the track runs on for over seven minutes and his fingernails-on-the-chalkboard voice is blasting into my ears at every moment (and I MEAN every moment) I don't want to listen. Hell, even when you THINK he's gone he's not because he comes right back! There is no solo and when you think the song is fading out he returns with his annoying nasally vocals and tries to a cappella the ending before the uptown train comes back.
Kantou Dogeza Kumiai is undescribable in just how bad it is. Yesterday's review was a trip through the positive side of weird music. This is a crash course in the polar opposite. The instruments here sound horrible and this comes off as the last few minutes of a rehearsal meeting a binge party. Lobotomized Ruki turns into tortured Ruki over the course as he somehow turned the dials and created a new brand of annoying vocals. His stupid vomit grunts, retarded giggles, gargled spit, horrible vocals and whatever the fuck else he does kills any credit the track may have had and to be frank this isn't the worst thing of this track vocally. Just wait until the last 30 seconds...
Doro Darake no Seishun is supposed to be the "single" here and with it's Addam's family inspired bass and ill-fitting digital effects at the end it straddles the line between suck and suck. If you need a Star Trek reference, this would be Deep Space Nine while Juunanasai would be The Original Series and Kantou Dogeza Kumiai would be Enterprise. The second here might grow on you over time just because it's charming in the instrumental department but the third is just a disgrace to music and the first is positively boring to sit through. For fuck's sake this doesn't even have anything to do with the title (which talks about teachers and their inherent pedophilia - HELLO PEDOBEAR!). Honestly, I don't give a damn what the hell Ruki is screaming about in his torture because there's nothing of "A-side value" in this track and it sounds just as bad as the first two I mentioned. Sure, the bass stole a few notes from a popular 60's show and the ending sounds like my clogged tub drain but this doesn't come close to a saving grace. The best part of this track is when it stops in the middle and you think it's done before the torture continues on once more. Seriously, stop hoping for something good on this maxi-single because you will find none.
You say I'm being unfairly one sided, focusing only on Ruki's faults and calling this maxi shitty? Fine, I will level with you - the instrumentation is nowhere near as bad as Ruki but they don't go nearly as far as they need to to overcome the suck. They don't even scratch the upper surface of fail. Sure, they're interesting in the fact that they try and incorporate elements that don't usually find their way into music, Reita tries to do something with his damn instrument other than strum idiotically and Yune's drum lines aren't half as stale as Kai's on The Invisible Wall but it all comes out as something quirky but in need of a good vocalist to push it above the heap of other crappy VisKei bands out there.
Sorry that was redundant.
But they don't have one. They have...Ruki. Seven years later and he has come a long way but this is still.... inexplicably and unforgiveably bad. Everything here is guaranteed to scar your eardrums and skew your views of music. Do yourself a favor and pass this, even if you are an avid fan of The GazettE.
Score: 21%
I thought I told you to look no further? Shit, well since you read on anyway I should formulate a sentence or two. It's only customary that I give every album and single, no matter how shitty it may be, the space in the post alloted to them to expose their flaws, parade them in public and then whip them to death.
Just to let you know, at the end of this entire album my brain was screaming in pain because it appears there was a mass genocide of brain cells in my cerebellum.
For a change of pace, let's start with the vocalist. Ruki, shut the fuck up and go back to playing the goddamn drums. For fuck's sake you sound ghastly on every single offering here! I can't even call one of these tracks because you...DO something with your voice! Do you even hear yourself when you fucking sing? I tried covering the first song and I just couldn't because my larynx doesn't reach into the lower register of fail. Who told you you could sing?
Some people just aren't meant to sing. Just take a look at the American pop-punk scene, with their whiny, nasally, over the top voices! Now we know where Ruki gets his sonic inspiration from.
Perhaps the best example of this said "singing" I can give you is the second track, Juunanasai. It's supposed to be about the musings of some lonely baby mama getting left by her ever so altruistic boyfriend but it starts out sounding like the boys gathered in the warehouse and the downtown train passed by in the first few seconds of this song. Granted, this has nothing to do with the singing but the either accidental or purposeful sound of a train passing is more pleasing to my ears than Ruki's voice. When there has to be three Ruki's going on at any one time in the background in order for him to get close to "on pitch", we have a huge problem. What is even worse is when he tries that distortion at 4:00, he sounds like a girl trying to orgasm and having the track sound like it's stuck prolongs my punishment. The atrocious falsetto at 2:54 and the fucktarded mumbling at around 5:30 are other things Ruki tries to do to alleviate the constant barrage of one-sided suck but when the track runs on for over seven minutes and his fingernails-on-the-chalkboard voice is blasting into my ears at every moment (and I MEAN every moment) I don't want to listen. Hell, even when you THINK he's gone he's not because he comes right back! There is no solo and when you think the song is fading out he returns with his annoying nasally vocals and tries to a cappella the ending before the uptown train comes back.
Kantou Dogeza Kumiai is undescribable in just how bad it is. Yesterday's review was a trip through the positive side of weird music. This is a crash course in the polar opposite. The instruments here sound horrible and this comes off as the last few minutes of a rehearsal meeting a binge party. Lobotomized Ruki turns into tortured Ruki over the course as he somehow turned the dials and created a new brand of annoying vocals. His stupid vomit grunts, retarded giggles, gargled spit, horrible vocals and whatever the fuck else he does kills any credit the track may have had and to be frank this isn't the worst thing of this track vocally. Just wait until the last 30 seconds...
Doro Darake no Seishun is supposed to be the "single" here and with it's Addam's family inspired bass and ill-fitting digital effects at the end it straddles the line between suck and suck. If you need a Star Trek reference, this would be Deep Space Nine while Juunanasai would be The Original Series and Kantou Dogeza Kumiai would be Enterprise. The second here might grow on you over time just because it's charming in the instrumental department but the third is just a disgrace to music and the first is positively boring to sit through. For fuck's sake this doesn't even have anything to do with the title (which talks about teachers and their inherent pedophilia - HELLO PEDOBEAR!). Honestly, I don't give a damn what the hell Ruki is screaming about in his torture because there's nothing of "A-side value" in this track and it sounds just as bad as the first two I mentioned. Sure, the bass stole a few notes from a popular 60's show and the ending sounds like my clogged tub drain but this doesn't come close to a saving grace. The best part of this track is when it stops in the middle and you think it's done before the torture continues on once more. Seriously, stop hoping for something good on this maxi-single because you will find none.
You say I'm being unfairly one sided, focusing only on Ruki's faults and calling this maxi shitty? Fine, I will level with you - the instrumentation is nowhere near as bad as Ruki but they don't go nearly as far as they need to to overcome the suck. They don't even scratch the upper surface of fail. Sure, they're interesting in the fact that they try and incorporate elements that don't usually find their way into music, Reita tries to do something with his damn instrument other than strum idiotically and Yune's drum lines aren't half as stale as Kai's on The Invisible Wall but it all comes out as something quirky but in need of a good vocalist to push it above the heap of other crappy VisKei bands out there.
Sorry that was redundant.
But they don't have one. They have...Ruki. Seven years later and he has come a long way but this is still.... inexplicably and unforgiveably bad. Everything here is guaranteed to scar your eardrums and skew your views of music. Do yourself a favor and pass this, even if you are an avid fan of The GazettE.
Score: 21%
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