Review: Alice Nine - 華[hæ•nə] [Type A]

I really fucking hate it when bands obfuscate their titles and it ends up coming out looking all fucked up. For all intents and purposes, it's read "Hana", so I will refer to it as that and not that fucktarded combination they put in brackets for us. Now, as for the single itself I have never tried Alice Nine before so this should be interesting.

01. Hana
02. SLEEPWALKER

I read a lot about Alice Nine on the internet over the course of my fandom in Japanese Rock music, and apart from the brainless "OMGGG THEY ARE SO CUTE" comments I haven't seen many positive reviews about their work. So, I go into this with an open mind.

The main problem with Hana is that it comes packaged with one of those choruses. It's where the song immediately lost my attention and failed to bring it back until it had a minute to go. It goes from that distortion-laden, rock portion to something more upbeat in the blink of an eye. I'm of the mind that if you're going to have a lighter chorus you have to have a buildup so it's not a complete 180, turn around and "there you are" sort of deal. I call those "copout pieces of bullshit" and Alice Nine could have come up with a lot better than that. If they had this song might actually be the one song out there that says "Hey, we aren't fangirl bait asshole. Buy our stuff". Another thing I abhor is the female backvocals and that's all thanks to The GazettE. They come in once at the beginning and then repeat throughout the verses and when they come in they are piercing. I do not need and do not want to hear this faggotry in music anymore, especially Visual Kei music. The vocalist was doing fine without them.

One notable thing about this song is the vocalist. I'm not a fan of the way that his voice sounds but I cannot deny that he found a vocal rhythm that works well for this song...until it gets to the chorus anyway. I'm also liking that he took the time to sing and not horribly rap the fucking choruses, like a lot of VK bands are starting to do. All these bands do is try to infuse HARDKOAR attitudes and shit into their verses and when they get to the chorus they channel some pop shit that makes me switch the song off. The chorus on it's own sounds fine but it feels like the instrumentation behind it was lifted right out of another song. What holds it together is the vocals, which seem to be the only thing that switches seamlessly throughout the entire song.

That "minute to go" would be the portion where the solo kicks in. It doesn't immediately launch into the solo, but it plays around successfully with some funky rhythms until it does. The solo channels some more of that techno attitude that they had in the verses, but the cut back to the chorus almost immediately after it finishes kills the boner I might have had from it. For fans of Alice Nine, you'll probably like this because it comes with that Alice Nine charm. For not-fans of Alice Nine, you might like parts of this, but just not anything between 0:00 and 4:59.

SLEEPWALKER doesn't know if it wants to mature the band's sound or stay with that Alice Nine cheesiness they've become famous for. What results from this is an audibly confused song that switches direction halfway through and ends up less than stellar. I also have to mention it has one of those choruses again and it starts with that soft opening to hard part pattern but for everything it's worth it was actually pretty good until it got to the chorus. SLEEPWALKER was meant to be a slow, lamentful number and then it subconsciously switches to that ever so light chorus. It's not the instruments so much this time; it's the vocalist. He tries to reach up into the heavens and then the instruments have no choice but to follow. In what could have been a serious, bad-ass number it turns around in the bridge and then by the solo becomes something that would fit right in an anime opening. I want the ominous, axe hitting metal sounds that were going on in the background with the slow verses at the beginning, not this violin-soaring, shady poppy number.

So I'm supposing this is what an Alice Nine single is all about. Good music is subjective so in my opinion Alice Nine straddles the mediocre range. If they keep pouring out good music with eye-twitching cliches that make me want to scream, they won't ever get up to the range where I'll actually call their music "an example of what I want to hear". These are some talented musicians that just need to learn how to put their music together.

Recommended:

If you like Alice Nine, then you'll want it. If you don't, you don't want it. Simple as that.

Score: 51%

Review: Sadie - Kagerou (TYPE A & B)

TYPE C review is here.

You bunch of money hungry little whores....

Let's take a look. Both Grieving the Dead Soul AND Ice Romancer hit the top of the indies singles charts. Then you have MASTER OF ROMANCE, the album this single is on, that hit number two on the album charts...SEVEN MONTHS AGO! Aren't singles supposed to be released

a) BEFORE THE ALBUM?
or
b) SHORTLY AFTER THE ALBUM IS RELEASED?

What in the hell is Sadie doing re-releasing Kagerou seven months after it was released on the album? What's worse is they have the nerve to market this as a new single in THREE DIFFERENT EDITIONS! My memory isn't that short term. I swear, this song better have been re-recorded in the halls of Valhalla...

陽炎 [TYPE-A]

01. 陽炎 (Kagerou/Heat Haze)
02. BLACK STARS
03. ナイフ (Naifu/Knife)


陽炎 [TYPE-B]

01. 陽炎 (Kagerou/Heat Haze)
02. BLACK STARS
03. ナイフ (Naifu/Knife)

DVD: "陽炎" LIVE CLIP

Kagerou	I still find nothing exceptional about this song, but the chorus is adequate and the introduction is made better by those drums. Some riffs here and there are memorable but the package as a whole is nothing special. Still a generic rocker that isn’t single material and does nothing different than from what it did seven months ago. They were so fucking lazy they didn’t even bother to re-record or re-master the song. This sounds like it was ripped right off the album, yet this is a positive because the rest of this single sounds horrible.	7/10
BLACK STARS	Offensive garbage. The verses send me images of Mao pulling a Tony Yayo while standing around grabbing his crotch and making random hand gestures. Rap in Japanese sounds awkward as it is but Mao’s rapping is infinitely more atrocious when paired with that chorus. The “black stars” repetition sounds hideous and what the fuck is that “Shenanananana CRAZY” portion? The production value of this entire piece is inferior to MASTER OF ROMANCE and even UNDEAD13+2. Guitars sound low and muddled and the drums sound like marshmallows after the introduction. Are you even trying anymore Sadie?	2/10
Knife	I probably would like this song but the mastering is so muddled and shitty listening is painful in some parts. The bass is the best part of this song and the only instrument that seems to have any sort of direction. It’s also the only instrument I can hear clearly. The guitars are messy and all over the place and random insertions here and there do NOT work. Once again, the drums sound inaudible and Mao’s yells/growls/whatever the hell those sounds are drown everything else out. They also do not sound very good and just like every other portion of this track they sound down produced and washed out. This is obvious proof that Kagerou wasn’t re-recorded because Kagerou doesn’t sound like shit.	4/10

Now a word on the videos: It's pretty, it's nice, it looks like Meisai. I can live without it and to be honest I didn't really want one. Their new look is OK at best and when it comes down to it, it's the reason why VK bands sell as many records as they do. A bigger portion of their fan base orgasms over their looks rather than the music and we all know Mao's sweat is oh-so-sexy to see when he's exerting himself live. I could manage without either of these videos.

Sadie, take a year off. Recharge your batteries, find some new creative inspiration, think up original ways to squander your UNDEAD and abroad fanbase out of their yen and the next time you decide to step into a studio and record the fans a single make sure it's good. I know for a fact the only reason this was done was to push forward the tolerable PV. This is right down there with Struggle Against Betrayal for worst Sadie release ever, except I didn't have to pay for the former.

43%