Sunday, August 16, 2009

Review: The GazettE - Gozen 0-ji no Trauma Radio

I'm attempting to review all the crap that's in my iTunes so I'm sure I don't need to type a few sentences explaining why early Gazetto and crap are synonymous. I find it quite hilarious that "Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder" adorns this single multiple times in English. I believe they are trying to tell us that this maxi-single is so horrible we run the risk of contracting said disorder if we manage to sit through the whole ordeal.

That's why this album is also called "0 a.m. Trauma Radio". If it's supposed to mean Zero Hour Trauma Radio, Zero Hour is when I get my hands on these CD's and crush them out of existence.

It can't be any worse than the offering yesterday. "Fascinating Teachings of the Brute Teacher" my ass; the only thing that album brutalized was my ear canals.


01. Machibouke no Kouen de…
02. WIFE
03. Shiawase na Hibi

I considered myself a very fortunate reviewer after listening to this because I didn't come across anything as sonically raping as Kantou Dogeza Kumiai. Wife, the second track, gets pretty close to it but it becomes quite hilarious when the bark and call comes in. Since I mentioned Wife, I'll start here: it's pretty fucking bad. The song starts out with the pace of a three-legged, retarded donkey and then tries to get on pace but the entire song just screams "low-quality indies crap". One part comes off as mildly cool in that "it could be this" way but then Gazette busts into a portion where it sounds like they are saying "juice, juice, juice, GUILE". That ruins the song beyond repair and then the chorus is off, especially with Ruki behind the microphone. Wife suffers also from a lack of cohesion - nothing sounds tight and the members do not play together as a band. All the instruments sound so far away as if they are being recorded through tubes and then shoved together. Hell, I know they were indies at this point but fucking Wakaremichi sounded better than this! What the hell gives? You're supposed to sound better not worse. I want to know who the hell wrote this because there is very little musicianship in this song.

Machibouke no Kouen de... was actually re-recorded for an omnibus so I am curious as to what the differences are. Since I'm sticking with this version, I have to admit I don't understand what the static at the beginning has to do with anything. If they are blasting this through a "Radio" and this is supposed to be some sort of concept single (which it just might) then that would make -some- sense. It still doesn't excuse the odd sounding guitar(s). Perhaps it's because I am a fan of lower-tuned guitars but I find the riff very annoying and it sounds like there is only one guitar, some drums and a bass. 1:51-2:04 and the twin guitar solo was surprisingly decent overall but it's sandwiched in between crap and shit. I think that's all they had planned ahead for this song because other than that there is no guitar - just drums and bass.

The vocal processing is horrible here. Ruki sounds too forceful one second and then too quiet another and that's not his fault. Why the hell is the "zu" in zutto so pronounced? What IS his fault though is all that horrible noise coming out of his throat. Ruki's singing voice has improved from ghastly to just normal, average suck and his singing still sounds like he choked on some Listerine. But, as yesterday explicitly showed, he can do a lot worse. 1:51-2:04 shows that he can sing but he tries to push himself too much and he sounds like a musical plane crash.

I'm guessing this is why The GazettE doesn't play this song live and didn't re-record this track for an actual album release.

I will consider Shiawase na Hibi the only actual musical release this band has given us since Akai ONE PIECE on the Wakaremichi single. There's a difference between trying something different with your music and then sounding like experimental crap. The last four out of the five songs I've released is undescribable shit, which leaves only Juunanasai and this song to actually be listenable. For The GazettE, this must have been a "throwaway, extremely standard track that doesn't display our fondness for fucking up music". To me, this sounds like skill. All the members play together, everything sounds good (except Ruki) and although it starts out a little loud and rough it comes together. It's what I EXPECT an indies band to put out consistently, not some track tucked away at the back of a single because it's too "standard" a tune to be the A-side. Machibouke no Kouen de... has nothing on this, even with a kick-ass solo and one alright portion because the rest of the track was just shit.

Why the fuck does this sound better than the rest of their output on this track, yet the rest of this album sounds like remixed vomiting? This is fucking bullshit.

Ruki sings the best here out of all six early GazettE tracks that I've reviewed so far but he's still got very annoying vocal tics and that nasally crap going on for me to like it too much. However, he's learned to hold his notes so that's a positive. Said notes just don't sound that good...

Wife and Shiawase na Hibi can be found re-recorded on the Dainihon Itangeishateki Noumiso Gyaku Kaiten Zekkyou Ongenshuu compilation album. I suggest you look here and skip this, even though this was better than yesterday's....whatever the fuck that was.

Recommended:

Dainihon Itangeishateki Noumiso Gyaku Kaiten Zekkyou Ongenshuu

Score:

Since 1/3 of this album was decent, it gets a 33%

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