No word in the English language describes how much fail this single is full of. It comes with two tracks and they're both so laughably bad it's inconceivable for me to even think about rating it. Believe it or not, the name of the first song is "Fucking A". Yeah, that's right. FUCKING A. This is what you'll be saying to yourself when it's all over because it's one big mindfuck. I think it is supposed to be about religion and it's inherent need to sex itself but it has nothing to do with anything since the vocalist mumbles on and on about stuff before he and the rest of the band repeats "fucking A" over and over again (and they repeat it really badly to boot!). See, I said vocalist and not singer because he can't sing. He single-handedly drags this song into unsalvageable territory the minute he opened his mouth and attempted to death metal growl. The part that sent me over the edge was when he does the "owwaowwaowwaaa!!" during the chorus because he sounds like a retarded cookie monster.
Let's not even get started on the instruments OR the production quality...
In a good turn or events or a bad one, idiot kindly decided to give us a karaoke version of the super duper hit single so that we can sing along "like a funny chaplin". I was really hoping that perhaps the B-side would break out halfway into some New Age Culture-esque metal where there's so much going on that any fault in the vocals isn't immediately apparent, but then I realized the beauty in having the same song on the single twice. We get to enjoy Fucking A for everything that it's worth. Did I miss that guitar lick or that somewhat less horrible growl? Not the second time around, all thanks to idiot and their genius marketing strategy!
This whole package is shit. Not one good thing comes with this CD, so there's really no saving grace at all. I can't even stretch the truth a bit or cop out and say this song has to grow on you, because the only thing that will grow is your boredom or your laughter. I don't even know why this song EXISTS. Someone had to tell these talentless fools this song sounded good. Maybe they felt so bad they told them they liked it so they wouldn't feel like assholes, but now we all have to live in a world of Kuro no Honou. Fucking A man...
Friday, June 26, 2009
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